--or--
Biblegod the Attention Whore
by Mark Smith
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"What! Another god???
Arrrghhh!!!" |
Responses_to__Tyrannosaurus_Pettius_Rex
A SIMPLE SYLLOGISM
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A) God is
love1.
B) Love is not jealous2.
C) Therefore,
God is not jealous. |
plus A SIMPLE BIBLE VERSE
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You shall
not bow down to them or serve them; for
I the LORD your God
am a
jealous
God
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and
the fourth generation of those who hate me. (Exodus 20:5 RSV) |
equals
A SIMPLE CONTRADICTION
1) 1st John 4:8 "God
is love" (KJV)
2) 1st Corinthians 13:4 "love
is not jealous" (RSV)
In the syllogism at the top of this essay, line "C" (God is not
jealous) is the logical conclusion demanded by the major premise "A" (God is
love) and the minor premise "B" (Love is not jealous) using standard deductive
logic. This conclusion "C" that Biblegod is not
jealous is inescapable, iron-clad, and bomb-proof. Even Biblegod himself could
not change this logical conclusion. IF the first two premises are
true, the conclusion has to be true. The conclusion is a logical
necessity demanded by, as Christian geeks like to put it, the immutable eternal
transcendent laws of logic. According to all that is logical then, the Bible
claims that Biblegod is not a jealous god.
However, the Bible ALSO claims that Biblegod IS a
jealous god, and claims it in no uncertain terms, as seen from the Exodus quote
above. And to remove all doubt as to what kind or type of jealousy is under
discussion, the verse even defines the word for us. The jealousy
under discussion in Exodus 20:5 is not the so-called good jealousy of being
zealous for good deeds and such; rather, it is the lowest kind of jealousy there
is. It is the jealousy of a raving attention whore, the jealousy of a
"I've got to have ALL the attention or I'm going to kill you"
stalker. It is the jealousy of an abusive husband that beats the crap out of his
wife for daring to even look at another man. And, in the opinion of this
Atheist, it is a totally ridiculous jealousy as it is the jealousy of one
imaginary desert deity over attentions paid to other imaginary desert deities.
Picture taking seriously Donald Duck having a fit of jealousy over the
attentions paid to another cartoon character, and you'll know what I'm talking
about.
The problem- the contradiction- comes about because Biblegod
cannot be jealous/not jealous at the same time, just as he can't be
love/hate or right/wrong or real/bogus at the same time. He is either is a god
of jealousy or he is not. And IF he is a god of jealousy, then he cannot be a
god of love, yet the Bible claims both for Biblegod. The only conclusion to be
drawn is... there must be a contradiction!
And where there's a contradiction, you'll have the Christians
who claim the Bible has no contradictions once again doing the weasel dance.
WEASELING is the only word that fits the gerrymandering
contortions/distortions of "logic" they go thru to "explain" away such obvious
contradictions in their Bible. These Fundy hypocrites condemned President Bill
Clinton for his Monica "is-is" speech, but then turn around and do worse with
their stupid "explanations" that don't fool anybody except some dumbass "elect",
who are so dumb they think they have magic "holy ghost" smarts dwelling within
their withered little unused brains. Christians like these would rather gouge
their eyes out than admit to an obvious contradiction in their stupid Bible, a
contradiction that everybody else can see except them. They say that "love is
blind" and these Fundies suuuuuuure are in love with their Bible, because they
are blind as bats anytime someone points out such a contradiction. [For anyone
who's got too much time on their hands, I get into more details discussing C.Q's
(Christian Quibbles) in a separate section at the end of this essay. Here's a
shortcut to there:
For The Christian Quibblers ]
But enough about trying to convince Fundies that this is a
contradiction!!! Die-hard closed-minded Fundies will never admit
to a contradiction, regardless of the evidence. Rather, let's
think some about the Bible saying that Biblegod is a petty jealous desert deity,
a "Tyrannosaurus Pettius Rex"
if you will . And let's listen to a much better author than myself comment
on the topic. I'm speaking of none other than Mark Twain...

It is most difficult to understand the
disposition of the Bible God, it is such a confusion of
contradictions; of watery instabilities and iron firmness; of
goody-goody abstract morals made out of words, and concreted hell-born ones
made out of acts; of fleeting kindness repented of in permanent malignities.
However, when after much puzzling you get
at the key to his disposition, you do at last arrive at a sort of
understanding of it. With a most quaint and juvenile and astonishing
frankness he has furnished that key himself. It is
jealousy!
I expect that to take your breath away.
You are aware -- for I have already told you in an earlier letter -- that
among human beings jealousy ranks distinctly as a weakness;
a trade-mark of small minds; a property of
all
small minds, yet a property which even the smallest is
ashamed
of; and when accused of its possession will lyingly deny it and resent the
accusation as an insult.
Jealousy. Do not forget it, keep it in
mind. It is the key. With it you will come to partly understand God as we go
along; without it nobody can understand him. As I have said, he has openly
held up this treasonous key himself, for all to see. He says, naïvely,
outspokenly, and without suggestion of embarrassment: "I the Lord thy God am
a jealous God."
You see, it is only another way of saying,
"I the Lord thy God am a small
God; a small God, and fretful
about small
things."
He
was giving a warning: he could not bear the thought of any other God getting
some of the Sunday compliments of this comical little human race -- he
wanted all of them for himself. He valued them. To him they were riches;
just as tin money is to a Zulu.
(Mark Twain, "Letters From The Earth",
http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/twainlfe.htm#0
)

"What! Another
god??? Arrrghhh!!!!"
NOTE: In dealing with
Christians, I know I'll need to point out an obvious point. In light of all the
above, why would Biblegod (if he's REAL) get jealous over make-believe gods???
What kind of mental midget gets jealous over the delusions of others??? That's
like a wife getting jealous over a husband's "love" for a female cartoon
character such as Betty Boop. Only a retarded mental midget of a "god" would get
jealous over that which doesn't even exist in the first place. Of course,
Biblegod USED TO openly believe in other gods- as indicated by the very first
commandment. In more modern times, Biblegod has become a bit of an Atheist when
it comes to other gods. At least he's moving in the right direction!!! (Now if
we can just get him to stop believing in himself as well!!!)
For The Christian
Quibblers
Quibble: There are two kinds of jealousy- good
and bad. Biblegod's jealousy is a good jealousy, and therefore there's no
contradiction.
Answer: Excuse me, but the last time I
checked, 1st Corinthians 13:4 does not differentiate between categories of
jealousy- good, bad, or otherwise. It just states flat out that love is
not jealous, however you define jealous. Period. That is the official
Bible definition of love- take it or leave it. Subsets of jealousy are just
that: subsets. It is the general concept of jealousy that Paul says love is
not. So if Christians admit their Biblegod is jealous with a GOOD
jealousy (it's not good, see below), thinking to explain away the contradiction,
what they've actually done is set themselves up for a fall as I point out the
kind of jealousy under discussion is irrelevant. Whatever kind of
jealousy you may have, Biblegod is not it, per the syllogism at the top of this
essay.
And in DIRECT contradiction to the Christian claim that Biblegod's jealousy
is a "good" jealousy, Exodus 20:5 is quite clear in stating that it is
not. The damn verse DEFINES THE WORD FOR US, and the definition
goes 180° against the Christian claim. Why they don't notice this is yet one
more proof of the intellectual blinders they put on when it comes to viewing
their religion. Exodus 20:5 speaks of a god who is jealous, who is a raving
attention whore, a god who demands all of the attention
all
of the time; and if he doesn't get it, there will be hell to pay. Exodus 20:5
speaks of a god so hot and so petty in his jealousy that were a man to pay even
the slightest attention to another imaginary god, Biblegod would not only ruin
his life, he would even ruin the lives of his future children, grandchildren,
and great-grandchildren. Like the Disney movie "Holes", something
an ancestor did way back when may be ruining your life here and now. In other
words, if your great-grandfather during the Civil War got drunk one night and
playfully rubbed the tummy of a Buddha statue, Biblegod today would still be so
pissed off he'd be "visiting iniquity" upon your life for something you never
did and have no knowledge about. Your life might be a total disaster and wreck
regardless of what you do, a life full of bad luck, and all from Biblegod for
something someone did over a hundred years ago. A curse would be upon your whole
family from generation to generation- THAT'S how hot and petty Biblegod's
jealousy is. A hundred descendants today, without even knowing it, could be
living under a curse from Biblegod for some stupid infraction their ancestor did
before they were even born. Not even mentioning the gross miscarriage of justice
such a curse on a family exemplifies, how in the hell can Fundies read Exodus
20:5 and come away with the idea that somehow the jealousy here is a good and
fair jealousy??? Only a man with his head jammed firmly up his ass could be so
blinded by his dark surroundings as to not see clearly what everybody else sees
in this verse. Only a Fundy would dare say such a jealousy is a "good" jealousy.
Responses
to Tyrannosaurus Pettius Rex
Table of Contents
Tim_12-18-05
Tim 12-18-05
Subject: Just a thought.
Date: 12/18/2005 8:54:34 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: timsw88@yahoo.com
Hey, I randomly stumbled across your site when I was bored and googled "God
is a sinner" to see what I would find. The vast majority of websites were
pertaining to Christians debating amongst themself if God hates the sinner, or
just the sin. And if he Loves the sinner, but hates the sin, then why the
hell(literally) does God send them to hell? But luckily, I found your site! I
found it very amusing, though I wanted to tell you a thought: Generally when I
am arguing amongst christians and I present and argument similiar to yours
they generally inform me that God has a
RIGHT to be jealous. That God (being infinite) supercedes our puny
logic, and God is both jealous/not jealous at the same time. (a nice
loophole, eh?) And that God being the all-creator God has a right to be jealous
because he created us so he DESERVES our attention. I can understand where
they are coming from; however in all of my relationships even when I do nice
things for my signifigant other, I don't demand attention from them...and I'm
not jealous if they talk to others. Why? Because I TRUST them.
Obviously God doens't trust us.
Even when I was a lil tyke and my pastor at churchy-church asked me if God is
jealous I immediatly thought, of course not! And then he told me that yes, God
is jealous. and has a right to be! God demands of us...blah blah blah.
Because of my impressionable age, I figured hey! he's older he must be right!
When I'm older I'll understand this little conundrum.
So I guess to sumarize, I'm merely trying to say what are
your thoughts on the little christian
loop-hole of God is infinite so he can be two opposing things. And
God has a RIGHT to be jealous because....well he's God, God damn-it!
Peace,
--Tim
Mark Smith here}
Well Tim, you ask some good questions. As to a REAL god ever getting jealous
over what us gnats here on Earth do, the very concept is laughable. Do any
of US ever get jealous because some microscopic germ that lives on our ass
didn't fawn over us today? Anyway, what they are REALLY saying is that
their god has the right to be a hypocrite. They are also admitting that by
all objective standards, anyone searching for a god would run like hell from
Joe Hovah
As for Biblegod existing within a logical
contradiction, i.e. be two opposing things at the same time, it is
philosophically IMPOSSIBLE, and any xtian that argues in FAVOR of his gods
being this way just pulled the rug out from underneath himself. He is beyond
logic and reason, don't waste your time on him.
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