--or--
Biblegod the Attention Whore
by Mark Smith
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"What! Another god??? Arrrghhh!!!" |
Responses_to__Tyrannosaurus_Pettius_Rex
A SIMPLE SYLLOGISM
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A) God is love1. |
plus A SIMPLE BIBLE VERSE
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You shall not bow
down to them or serve them; for |
equals A SIMPLE CONTRADICTION
1) 1st John 4:8 "God is love" (KJV)
2) 1st Corinthians 13:4 "love is not jealous" (RSV)
In the syllogism at the top of this essay, line "C" (God is not jealous) is the logical conclusion demanded by the major premise "A" (God is love) and the minor premise "B" (Love is not jealous) using standard deductive logic. This conclusion "C" that Biblegod is not jealous is inescapable, iron-clad, and bomb-proof. Even Biblegod himself could not change this logical conclusion. IF the first two premises are true, the conclusion has to be true. The conclusion is a logical necessity demanded by, as Christian geeks like to put it, the immutable eternal transcendent laws of logic. According to all that is logical then, the Bible claims that Biblegod is not a jealous god.
However, the Bible ALSO claims that Biblegod IS a jealous god, and claims it in no uncertain terms, as seen from the Exodus quote above. And to remove all doubt as to what kind or type of jealousy is under discussion, the verse even defines the word for us. The jealousy under discussion in Exodus 20:5 is not the so-called good jealousy of being zealous for good deeds and such; rather, it is the lowest kind of jealousy there is. It is the jealousy of a raving attention whore, the jealousy of a "I've got to have ALL the attention or I'm going to kill you" stalker. It is the jealousy of an abusive husband that beats the crap out of his wife for daring to even look at another man. And, in the opinion of this Atheist, it is a totally ridiculous jealousy as it is the jealousy of one imaginary desert deity over attentions paid to other imaginary desert deities. Picture taking seriously Donald Duck having a fit of jealousy over the attentions paid to another cartoon character, and you'll know what I'm talking about.
The problem- the contradiction- comes about because Biblegod cannot be jealous/not jealous at the same time, just as he can't be love/hate or right/wrong or real/bogus at the same time. He is either is a god of jealousy or he is not. And IF he is a god of jealousy, then he cannot be a god of love, yet the Bible claims both for Biblegod. The only conclusion to be drawn is... there must be a contradiction!
And where there's a contradiction, you'll have the
Christians who claim the Bible has no contradictions once again doing the weasel
dance. WEASELING is
the only word that fits the gerrymandering contortions/distortions of "logic"
they go thru to "explain" away such obvious contradictions in their Bible. These
Fundy hypocrites condemned President Bill Clinton for his Monica "is-is" speech,
but then turn around and do worse with their stupid "explanations"
that don't fool anybody except some dumbass "elect", who are so dumb
they think they have magic "holy ghost" smarts dwelling within their
withered little unused brains. Christians like these would rather gouge their
eyes out than admit to an obvious contradiction in their stupid Bible, a
contradiction that everybody else can see except them. They say that
"love is blind" and these Fundies suuuuuuure are in love with their
Bible, because they are blind as bats anytime someone points out such a contradiction.
[For anyone who's got too much time on their hands, I get into more details
discussing C.Q's (Christian Quibbles) in a separate section at the end of this
essay. Here's a shortcut to there:
For The Christian Quibblers ]
But enough about trying to convince Fundies that this is a contradiction!!! Die-hard closed-minded Fundies will never admit to a contradiction, regardless of the evidence. Rather, let's think some about the Bible saying that Biblegod is a petty jealous desert deity, a "Tyrannosaurus Pettius Rex" if you will . And let's listen to a much better author than myself comment on the topic. I'm speaking of none other than Mark Twain...
It is most difficult to understand the disposition of the Bible God, it is such a confusion of contradictions; of watery instabilities and iron firmness; of goody-goody abstract morals made out of words, and concreted hell-born ones made out of acts; of fleeting kindness repented of in permanent malignities.
However, when after much puzzling you get at the key to his disposition, you do at last arrive at a sort of understanding of it. With a most quaint and juvenile and astonishing frankness he has furnished that key himself. It is jealousy!
I expect that to take your breath away. You are aware -- for I have already told you in an earlier letter -- that among human beings jealousy ranks distinctly as a weakness; a trade-mark of small minds; a property of all small minds, yet a property which even the smallest is ashamed of; and when accused of its possession will lyingly deny it and resent the accusation as an insult.
Jealousy. Do not forget it, keep it in mind. It is the key. With it you will come to partly understand God as we go along; without it nobody can understand him. As I have said, he has openly held up this treasonous key himself, for all to see. He says, naïvely, outspokenly, and without suggestion of embarrassment: "I the Lord thy God am a jealous God."
You see, it is only another way of saying, "I the Lord thy God am a small God; a small God, and fretful about small things."
He was giving a warning: he could not bear the thought of any other God getting some of the Sunday compliments of this comical little human race -- he wanted all of them for himself. He valued them. To him they were riches; just as tin money is to a Zulu.
(Mark Twain, "Letters From The Earth", http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/twainlfe.htm#0 )
"What! Another god??? Arrrghhh!!!!"
NOTE: In dealing with Christians, I know I'll need to point out an obvious point. In light of all the above, why would Biblegod (if he's REAL) get jealous over make-believe gods??? What kind of mental midget gets jealous over the delusions of others??? That's like a wife getting jealous over a husband's "love" for a female cartoon character such as Betty Boop. Only a retarded mental midget of a "god" would get jealous over that which doesn't even exist in the first place. Of course, Biblegod USED TO openly believe in other gods- as indicated by the very first commandment. In more modern times, Biblegod has become a bit of an Atheist when it comes to other gods. At least he's moving in the right direction!!! (Now if we can just get him to stop believing in himself as well!!!)
Quibble: There are two kinds of jealousy- good and bad. Biblegod's jealousy is a good jealousy, and therefore there's no contradiction.
Answer: Excuse me, but the last time I checked, 1st Corinthians 13:4 does not differentiate between categories of jealousy- good, bad, or otherwise. It just states flat out that love is not jealous, however you define jealous. Period. That is the official Bible definition of love- take it or leave it. Subsets of jealousy are just that: subsets. It is the general concept of jealousy that Paul says love is not. So if Christians admit their Biblegod is jealous with a GOOD jealousy (it's not good, see below), thinking to explain away the contradiction, what they've actually done is set themselves up for a fall as I point out the kind of jealousy under discussion is irrelevant. Whatever kind of jealousy you may have, Biblegod is not it, per the syllogism at the top of this essay.
And in DIRECT contradiction to the Christian claim that Biblegod's jealousy is a "good" jealousy, Exodus 20:5 is quite clear in stating that it is not. The damn verse DEFINES THE WORD FOR US, and the definition goes 180° against the Christian claim. Why they don't notice this is yet one more proof of the intellectual blinders they put on when it comes to viewing their religion. Exodus 20:5 speaks of a god who is jealous, who is a raving attention whore, a god who demands all of the attention all of the time; and if he doesn't get it, there will be hell to pay. Exodus 20:5 speaks of a god so hot and so petty in his jealousy that were a man to pay even the slightest attention to another imaginary god, Biblegod would not only ruin his life, he would even ruin the lives of his future children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Like the Disney movie "Holes", something an ancestor did way back when may be ruining your life here and now. In other words, if your great-grandfather during the Civil War got drunk one night and playfully rubbed the tummy of a Buddha statue, Biblegod today would still be so pissed off he'd be "visiting iniquity" upon your life for something you never did and have no knowledge about. Your life might be a total disaster and wreck regardless of what you do, a life full of bad luck, and all from Biblegod for something someone did over a hundred years ago. A curse would be upon your whole family from generation to generation- THAT'S how hot and petty Biblegod's jealousy is. A hundred descendants today, without even knowing it, could be living under a curse from Biblegod for some stupid infraction their ancestor did before they were even born. Not even mentioning the gross miscarriage of justice such a curse on a family exemplifies, how in the hell can Fundies read Exodus 20:5 and come away with the idea that somehow the jealousy here is a good and fair jealousy??? Only a man with his head jammed firmly up his ass could be so blinded by his dark surroundings as to not see clearly what everybody else sees in this verse. Only a Fundy would dare say such a jealousy is a "good" jealousy.
Responses to Tyrannosaurus Pettius Rex
Table of Contents
Subject: Just a thought. Date: 12/18/2005 8:54:34 P.M. Pacific Standard Time From: timsw88@yahoo.com
Hey, I randomly stumbled across your site when I was bored and googled "God
is a sinner" to see what I would find. The vast majority of websites were
pertaining to Christians debating amongst themself if God hates the sinner, or
just the sin. And if he Loves the sinner, but hates the sin, then why the
hell(literally) does God send them to hell? But luckily, I found your site! I
found it very amusing, though I wanted to tell you a thought: Generally when I
am arguing amongst christians and I present and argument similiar to yours
they generally inform me that God has a
RIGHT to be jealous. That God (being infinite) supercedes our puny
logic, and God is both jealous/not jealous at the same time. (a nice loophole,
eh?) And that God being the all-creator God has a right to be jealous because he
created us so he DESERVES our attention. I can understand where they are coming
from; however in all of my relationships even when I do nice things for my
signifigant other, I don't demand attention from them...and I'm not jealous if
they talk to others. Why? Because I TRUST them. Obviously God doens't trust
us.
Even when I was a lil tyke and my pastor at churchy-church asked me if God is
jealous I immediatly thought, of course not! And then he told me that yes, God
is jealous. and has a right to be! God demands of us...blah blah blah. Because
of my impressionable age, I figured hey! he's older he must be right! When I'm
older I'll understand this little conundrum.
So I guess to sumarize, I'm merely trying to say what are
your thoughts on the little christian
loop-hole of God is infinite so he can be two opposing things. And God
has a RIGHT to be jealous because....well he's God, God damn-it!
Peace,
--Tim
Mark Smith here} Well Tim, you ask some good questions. As to a REAL god ever getting jealous over what us gnats here on Earth do, the very concept is laughable. Do any of US ever get jealous because some microscopic germ that lives on our ass didn't fawn over us today? Anyway, what they are REALLY saying is that their god has the right to be a hypocrite. They are also admitting that by all objective standards, anyone searching for a god would run like hell from Joe Hovah
As for Biblegod existing within a logical contradiction, i.e. be two opposing things at the same time, it is philosophically IMPOSSIBLE, and any xtian that argues in FAVOR of his gods being this way just pulled the rug out from underneath himself. He is beyond logic and reason, don't waste your time on him.