Table of Contents
In The Beginning...
God Was Nuts
Death Penalty for
Apple Thieves

In
The Beginning... God Was Nuts!!!
Mark Smith 1/31/91
According to the Bible, in the Book of Genesis, Biblegod created from mud
and/or a rib, presto-chango, the innocents named Adam and Eve, and placed them
in the middle of a wondrous playground called "The Garden of Eden". These two
were literally babes in the woods. They would have been a hundred times more
naive than any three year old around today. According to the story in Genesis
(there are two contradictory ones to pick from, by the way) Adam and Eve were
without any "knowledge of Good and Evil". Anyone could have told them to stick
their hands into a fire, and they would have innocently done so without question
or hesitation. In other words, they were the proverbial "blank slate" when it
comes to gullibility.
But why is this the way it was? Christians claim these two were created
perfect, with no faults or shortcomings whatsoever, and it was only thru their
"free will" that they screwed things up; yet they suffered from the fault,
the imperfection, the defect, of being gullible. Where did this intrinsic fault
come from? A perfect being, such as Christians claim Adam was, would not have
made an imperfect choice, otherwise he wouldn't be a perfect being. Who
therefore, I wonder, would create beings with the built-in fault of being
gullible- unless the Christians want to argue that being gullible is a virtue
and not a vice? Of course, Christians praise being gullible ("unless one become
as a little child...") and many televangelist base their business on Christians
being gullible, but few would come out and call being gullible a virtue. Adam
and Eve then, suffering from massive amounts of gullibility, were obviously NOT
perfect, for perfect beings would not have been created gullible, and therefore
would not have fallen for what the talking snake said. So much for the Christian
claim that Adam and Eve, and not Biblegod, is to blame for the fall. Biblegod
stacked the deck, created defective creatures, and set the whole row of dominos
up for a fall. But I digress, back to the Garden of Eden...
What did the "loving" Biblegod set in the middle of their playground to catch
their attention and arouse their natural curiosity? Why, nothing short of
something guaranteed to kill them, and not only them, but every single one of
their descendants for all time and eternity. Of course, he wasn't totally
without normal human emotions- he did care enough for these two little kids to
at least warn them not to taste the poison. Of course, having
embedded the poison in a bright and shiny container rumored to look, smell, and
taste just like an apple, some may doubt the sincerity
of his warning to the kids.
After placing the poison, Biblegod left the playground, but he didn't leave
the children unattended. He's too good of a loving parent for that. In his
stead, he left his best friend Satan there alone with the kids, while he went
off to hide in a bush and watch what was about to happen- that's how sick this
god is. Of course, Biblegod being Biblegod, he knew exactly what was going to
happen anyway, but he wanted to watch it in "real time", just for the fun of it.
And yes, Biblegod could have stepped in at any time to stop the impending
tragedy, but that just wouldn't have been as much fun for him, would it?
So there is Satan, all alone in the playground with the two kids, having been
left in charge by Biblegod. Satan, the "Prince of Darkness", placed in the
playground with the full knowledge and permission of Biblegod. It was certainly
a top billed fight, a boxing match of epic proportions. Satan, the slickest
"used car salesman" of the universe, --vs-- two trusting, innocent, sweet
children. So Satan, disguised as a snake, walks up to the kids (snakes have
legs, according to the Bible) and manages to sweet-talk the kids into eating an
apple, in which poison had been hidden, NOT by Satan, but by the loving Biblegod
himself.
Was this a fair fight? Did Biblegod do right? Millions of Bible Thumpers
"think" so (Bible Thumpers actually don't think, they obey.
"God Said It, I Believe It, That Settles It"). Was it fair? Even Bible Thumpers
would have the common sense not to employ Satan as a babysitter
for their own kids, so why would they justify Biblegod doing the same for
his kids? Because... they don't think.
Anyway, after the kids took the poison, Biblegod came out of hiding- not to
give his kids an antidote, like any normal parent would have done, but rather a
lecture- in actuality, a curse. He proceeded to curse Adam and Eve from here to
eternity, up and down, blaming them for having eaten the poisoned apple that he
himself mistakenly left out in the open. But it wasn't a mistake, was it? He
knew all along what would happen- making it nothing short of premeditated
murder.
If any Christian mother today were to leave her two little kids in the hands
of a known child killer, and then hide behind a curtain and calmly watch as the
crazed killer talked the two kids into drinking the poison, AND THEN DID NOTHING
TO STOP WHAT WAS GOING ON RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER EYES, most Christians would
freely admit that the woman was at best nuts, at worst an evil murderer.
Any mother who would do such a horrific crime, regardless of how much she
claimed to love her children, would in reality and practice be showing NOT love,
but pure unadulterated evil and hate for her children.
Christians- wake up!!! The God of the Bible does not love you!!! He never
did, and never will!!! How many atrocities will it take to get it through your
thick skulls that any god that would do that to his own two children deserves
not your love and worship, but your hate and disgust. In the beginning... God
was nuts!!!
Death Penalty for Apple Thieves
Mark Smith
(AP: Eden, Texas) A local judge today sentenced two convicted
apple thieves to death by lethal injection in a trial that was short even by
Texas standards.
The married teenage couple- both 13 years old, both mentally
handicapped, and both first time offenders- were not allowed to speak to an
attorney, nor have an attorney present at their trial, and they have been
forbidden to appeal or question the decision of the judge.
The children had been told by a trusted family friend to go to a
neighbor's tree and steal one apple. They innocently complied, not knowing
the whole thing was a sting operation, and were arrested by the SWAT team a
few hours later when their house was stormed in a massive show of force.
Had you gone into reading the above thinking it was a legit news article,
your blood would have been boiling by now. You'd probably be thinking "What have
those barbarians down in Texas done THIS time in their court system?" The
injustice of it all pissed you off.
Hold that thought- hold that innate sense of righteous indignation- don't
loose sight of it- then go read the first three chapters of Genesis while your
brain is still receptive. If you're a Christian thinking that Biblegod is going
to somehow let you off the hook after you die, while you're reading, ask
yourself: who but an
idiot would ever expect any mercy from such a Texan
judge??? Who but a gullible FOOL would expect ANY reason or logic or mercy from
a god who basically said to Adam and Eve:
Oh, I looooove you sooooo much my darling
children,
but if you eat my apples
I'll KILL
you!!!
And then proceeded to do so.
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