Responses to Atonement
Introduction
This will be a collection of
various thoughts regarding the implausibility of the Christian doctrine of the
atonement. Seeing how the entire Christian edifice is built upon this theory,
one would think this pillar of their faith would have had the bugs worked out of
it. It doesn't. Jesus spoke of building upon a foundation of sand- this fits the
bill. Rather than being a rock upon which to firmly place one's faith, The
Atonement turns out to be a bogus sack of lies, horseshit, contradictions,
and half-baked ideas, all mixed together in that blender known as Christian
theology.
The below graphic is from the web site:
http://www.jhuger.com/tract/dtr/index.mv

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Hey Jesus- Payback's
a Bitch!!! |
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-or- |
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The Passion of
The Christ
Directed by Mel Gibson |
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Payback
Staring Mel Gibson |
I enjoyed Mel Gibson's film "Payback",
but recently I got stuck in the same room that a DVD of Mel Gibson's
movie "The Passion of The Christ" was playing in- not so
enjoyable. I had managed to avoid watching this religious snuff
flick, but now I was trapped. Being human, and having a sense of
compassion, I started feeling sorry for Jesus. But then I realized
the following: per orthodox Christian doctrine, Jesus is God. And
as God, he had created hell. And God/Jesus is going to use hell to
torture the vast majority of all humans who have ever lived (self
included, to the joy of most Christians who email me), and many for
no offense bigger than that their supposed ancestor Adam ate a piece
of fruit from the wrong tree. And if you're a Christian who believes
in Pre-destination, God is even going to torture cute little babies
and infants- maybe even one or two of your own! He'll torture them a
thousand million trillion times
worse than Jesus ever got tortured. He'll rip big red chunks of
bloody flesh from their bodies and then pour boiling oil over the
open wounds while pulling their finger nails out, etc etc etc. And
this kind of torture will go on not just for a few hours, like Jesus
had it, but all day long, all night long, day after day after week
after month, year after year into all eternity. People living this
torture will wish they had it as easy as Jesus did.So after
realizing what the tortured man on TV was plotting for myself, my
family, my loved ones, and BILLIONS UPON BILLIONS of other people, I
no longer felt any sorrow or sympathy whatsoever for the asshole
getting his ass kicked. In fact, in a sadistic sort of way, I sort
of wished they could have tortured him even more. For I realized
that IF the Christians are right in their religious
theories, these few hours of humanity torturing Jesus is but a
pebble in the pond of us paying him back- and our ONLY chance to pay
him back- for what he'll be doing to most of us later on. So with
that in mind, if you ever watch Mel's snuff flick about Jesus, or
see a "Jesus on a Stick" on the wall of a Catholic church, do not
feel sorry for Jesus. Rather, let the following run thru your mind:
Payback's a Bitch!!!
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$$$
Jesus Paid the Debt $$$
IF the wages of sin is death
AND Jesus totally paid that debt for
everyone
THEN WHY do Christians still DIE? Jesus
already paid that debt, why are they still dying?
AND ALSO Why would anyone then be sent to hell, as
Jesus has already paid for all sins past, present, and future.
BUT... Most people WILL BE sent to hell,
according to the Bible. People who have already had their debt to
Biblegod paid in full and canceled. People whose sins have been
washed "whiter than snow" in the blood of the lamb. People who, in
Biblegod's eyes, are perfect and innocent due to the death of Jesus.
These people will roast in hell- forever.
CONCLUSION:
Biblegod is sending to "debtors prison" billions of people whose debts have
already been paid.
$$$
The Wages of Sin $$$
IF the penalty for sin is
eternal
torture/separation from Biblegod
BUT Jesus suffered torture/separation for
only 3 days
THEN Jesus didn't pay the full penalty for
sin.
THEREFORE all Christians are STILL IN
THEIR SINS!!!!! At the best, they've only had 3 days knocked off
their sentence of eternity.
Let's do the math... Eternity - 3 Days = Eternity!!!
Yup, you guys are sooooo screwed!!!
Unjust Justice Infinite
punishment for non-infinite, even trivial, sins, is not justice. It is
injustice, and no amount of theological "shake and bake" can change that.
Biblegod Hits Thumb With Hammer- Sins Forgiven
According to Christian theology, God can't die, Jesus equals God, therefore
Jesus can't die- can't cease to exist- and he didn't, not in any real sense of
the word. According to the Bible, when everyone thought he was dead he was
actually hanging out in hades for three days having discussions. Therefore all
that really happened was Jesus (i.e. God) went thru alot of pain for just a
couple of hours, this pain is what must have "paid the debt of sin for all
mankind". And since God suffering pain is what did the trick, God could have
just as well hit his own thumb with a hammer to presto-chango erase the sins of
mankind, in which case Christians would all be wearing little hammers around
their necks today!
He Who is Guilty of the Crime Must Do the Time
Justice demands that the man guilty of the crime, do the time. Sending an
innocent man away to prison for another's crime in no way pays off the debt of
the guilty man. When the guilty man is caught, he still goes to
prison for the full term, regardless of how many years the innocent man served
of the guilty man's sentence. This is justice, and for Christians to teach that
somehow a totally innocent man (Jesus) can have the hell beaten out of him for
the crimes of another (mankind), and this somehow "pays off the debt" of the
guilty, is totally absurd, and shows a complete lack of understanding when it
comes to justice. Even a child knows better, with his built-in sense of justice,
that if a cookie is stolen in the household, it's wrong to let the guilty kid go
and instead, ON PURPOSE, spank the innocent child. On the other hand, the
Christian sense of justice is so unbelievably warped, they would see nothing
wrong with this, and in fact have based their entire religion upon the
punishment of the innocent for the crimes of the guilty.
Jesus The Perfect Human Died for Sins: Really?
Christians claim that Jesus, the "second Adam", Jesus the "perfect human", died
for sins. But according to Christian theory, his "divine" half couldn't die, his
"soul" couldn't die, and neither could his "spirit". Then what part of Jesus
died to pay off this supposed debt of sin? Will Christians respond his other
half, his body? His HUMAN body? But it WASN'T
human, was it, Christian? According to your theory, Jesus was only a half-breed,
only HALF human. Sure, Jesus had a human mother, but his father was an
extra-terrestrial space alien from way beyond the clouds who raped Mary
(who was already engaged to be married) and somehow got her pregnant. So IF it
took a god to die to "pay off the debt", seeing how gods CAN'T die by
definition, that god theory goes up in smoke. On the other hand, if it took a
perfect human to die to "pay off the debt", Jesus was NOT human, by any stretch
of the DNA, so therefore could never be a PERFECT human, just as a pig could
never be a perfect dog. In fact, at best, he was only one-quarter human. Think
of it this way: four quarters = a whole. If two quarters of Jesus (i.e. 1/2 of
him) were god, that leaves the remaining half of Jesus a human being. But how
did this "human half" of Jesus come about? Of this remaining half, this
human-looking body, only half of it (i.e. 1/4 of the whole) could actually
be human (via Mary's DNA) while the other 1/4th of it was Biblegod DNA-
definitely NOT human. So Jesus was no more a "perfect human" than Arnold the Pig
could ever be a perfect dog, cow, or whale. At BEST, only 1/4th of Jesus could
be physically human, with the other 3/4ths being non-human.
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BibleGod- Psycho
Stalker from Heaven |
Picture a rich old
man on a private island. On Match.com he falls in love with a young
maiden in Iowa, and sends her cards and chocolates, but she wants
nothing to do with him. He tells her how much he loves her, but she
ignores him. And if it ended there, no harm no foul. But it
doesn't end. Turning bitter, he emails threats to her on a daily
basis, telling her if she DOESN'T fall in love with him, his
minions will kidnap her to his island to burn her alive. She is a
fragile sort, and these threats ruin her life.

As Tina Turner said, what's love got to do
with this? Who among us would mistake this behavior for "love"?
Wouldn't we recognize it for what it is: the mental illness of a
deranged stalker? It's obvious that anyone who tries to force or
intimidate another into a "loving" relationship is mentally ill, not
knowing the first thing about real love. Even
Christians acknowledge this, until you point out the similarities
between their Biblegod
and the stalker from the island. So next time a
Christian tells you how much his Biblegod "loves" you and "has plans
for you", run!!!
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A Savior on Steroids? Christians claim that
Jesus was perfect, and as such, a qualified sacrifice to appease the irrational
anger of Biblegod. But this perfection- this ability to be perfect- did not
originate from his human nature (1/4th of his being- see above paragraph), but
rather from his "god" nature (3/4ths of his being). Given that kind of help, any
one of us could have done just as good a job. Putting those kind of "spiritual
steroids" into even Larry Flynt would have produced a saint beyond measure. So,
seeing how Jesus' perfection was phony- a result of massive outside interference
rather than inner spiritual struggle, how can a savior who reached perfection
via "spiritual steroids" be a proper role model, or be qualified to die in the
place of ANYone???
A Sinless Human Had to Die to Pay off Debt of Sin?
What was so special about Jesus' flesh and blood? Was it without "sin"? So what!
Weren't Adam and Eve also without any "sin" whatsoever, at least before the
fall? If all it took was a sinless body to pay off all the debts, then any child
under the age of 12 could have done likewise at any year in history, at least
for the Christians that don't believe in Original Sin. And even IF a perfect
human DID die, how in the hell does THAT possibly compensate for all the
IMperfect humans that have fucked up over the years??? That makes as much sense
as saying that since one boy in a class of failures got a 100% on the final
test, therefore ALL the boys in the class will get an "A" for the year.
The Atonement
Makes Sense? One day, on a whim, a scientist
named Dr. Joe Hovah created little
microscopic biological robots, just to keep himself amused.
Then he arbitrarily created a bunch of silly rules and regulations for
these robots to follow- knowing full well that the robots he designed could not
follow such rules and regulations. Some rules made sense to the robots, others
were totally beyond their comprehension. He enjoyed watching through his
microscope their confusion over his rules.
Then he created punishments to torture these little robots when they
inevitably broke his rules. He himself, of course, was never bound by these
rules he invented, and could at will violate them any time he pleased without
worrying about punishing himself.
After all, parents setting bedtimes of
9:00 PM for their children don't punish
themselves
when they themselves stay up till 11:00.
Eventually, Biblegod invented a new rule that when his robots broke the rules,
instead of his robots being punished, he himself would be punished in their
place- a one shot punishment which would pay off all their collective rule
breaking. So one day, he shrunk himself down to their size, and persuaded his
robots to punish him- even though the act itself of punishing him was
also
against the rules! One more reason to punish the robots some more! When he got
back to his full size, he changed his mind, and decided to keep on punishing
most of the robots anyway, only ceasing to punish those robots that recognized
him for who he was when he visited among them… --THE END--
The Death of Jesus
It was not in the plans for Jesus to die. Therefore, when he DID die (and thus
proved himself a failure) his followers had to quickly put a spin on it, and try
to somehow make it look like he was supposed to die all along. They had to
quickly try to find a "reason" for his death, something that sort of made sense.
This is why the whole "blood atonement" thing doesn't make much sense- it was
merely a contrived theory invented to make sense of Jesus' death.
Death of Jesus A Waste
IF Jesus HAD to die for Biblegod to forgive men, THEN Biblegod is subject to the
law of blood atonement, i.e. under his own rules. IF Jesus did NOT have to die
for Biblegod to forgive men, THEN Biblegod is NOT subject to the law of blood
atonement, and is sado-masochistic as he endured the cross for nothing. The
Gospels record Jesus as being able to forgive men their sins before
Jesus died on the cross. This proves beyond a doubt that the death of Jesus on
the cross was not needed for sins to be forgiven. Therefore,
the death of Jesus was a waste.
The Rule:
WHY did Biblegod have to die?
Because of a rule.
What rule?
The rule that sin
must be paid for in blood.
And just WHO made up that rule?
Biblegod himself
made up that rule.
Can Biblegod break his own rules?
Jesus' Death A Waste
Biblegod can NOT break THIS rule, Christians claim. They claim that he is
subject to this law, that he is not above this law, the law being that without
the shedding of Biblegod's blood, there is no forgiveness of sin. Yet we see
Biblegod, as Jesus, saying to a man BEFORE there was any blood shed, "Your sins
ARE [present tense] forgiven." (Matthew 9: 5,6) It is clear from this that
Biblegod can forgive sins WITHOUT any blood being shed, which also
makes it clear that Biblegod (as Jesus) did NOT have to die in order for sins to
be forgiven. Which indicates that there was no "eternal need" for Jesus to have
died. What probably happened is
that Jesus' dying was NOT in their plans, so when their almighty god died, they
had to scramble to find ways to explain it away. All this crap about blood
atonement is what their spin doctors managed to come up with to explain Jesus'
failure.
Jesus Paid The Price?
If the penalty for sin is "eternal hell fire", then Jesus did NOT
pay the penalty. If the penalty for sin is "eternal separation from God", Jesus
did NOT pay the penalty either. If the penalty for sin is mortal
death, then all of us pay our own penalties upon our deaths, and
no one should go to Christian hell.
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Biblegod}
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"Damn those burritos! Now I have to get out of bed
to sit on the toilet again. Damn! The light's burned out again too!
Double Damn and tarnation! Some asshole left the damn seat up again!
Enough is enough! Someone's going to pay for this! Hell fire is not
enough! I am going to smash their thumbs with a hammer! And when they
are screaming in pain, I will be happier."
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Sinner}
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"Uhhh, Biblegod sir? Sorry- I did it. I left the
seat up. But sir, please don't hit me with the hammer! Uhhh, why don't
you hit your own thumb with
your hammer?"
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Biblegod}
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"What a novel idea! The innocent getting punished
for the deeds of the guilty! Now THAT'S a new twist in the meaning of
JUSTICE. Now where's that damn hammer…"
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