JCnot4me.com
“Am I therefore become your enemy for telling you the truth?”
The Apostle Paul Galatians 4:16
Misc. Thoughts & Ideas
Mark Smith JCnot4me.com
Created &/or Acquired by Mark Smith
(The god of the Bible...) Who created us SICK, and then ordered us, upon pain of eternal torture, to be well. (Christopher Hitchens)
(Atheists: think about this the next time you hear someone publically slander and lie about Atheists and nobody stands up and says BULLSHIT to it). “A lot of things USED TO be acceptable. It used to be acceptable to force blacks to sit in the back of the bus. If used to be acceptable to call blacks animals and property. A lot of things were “acceptable”-
“When the missionaries came to Africa, they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘Let us pray’. We closed our eyes. When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land.” Desmond Tutu.
“There is a difference between what you CAN do, and what you SHOULD do. For instance, you can build a Catholic church next to a playground. SHOULD you?”
(John Oliver, “The Daily Show”, August 16, 2010)
“Science adjusts its views based on what’s OBSERVED.
Faith is the denial of what’s OBSERVED so belief can be preserved.”
(A slightly reworked quote of Tim Minchin) (NOTE: Google him on YouTube, he’s great.)
It is the height of arrogance for a Christian to think that his individual existence in this universe is sooooo damn important that a god (if there were one) would even lift his little finger, much less get himself killed, to perpetuate it. -
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A Short Letter to Jesus
Dear Jesus;
I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I’ve decided to go thru with writing you this letter. I wanted to let you know that you were wrong-
You were wrong about premarital sex. Anyone that marries without a “test drive” is a fool. I remember one girl who was so horribly frigid in the sex department that, if I had been the perfect little Christian and waited until marriage, we’d been divorced within a month. Everyone knows you try on shoes before you buy them-
You were also wrong about that “turn the other cheek” crap, and hell, your own dad doesn’t even go along with you on that one! If he did, no one would go to hell. Fact is, if someone attacks your family, you’d damn well better fight back.
You were also wrong telling us the future would somehow take care of itself. Well, the fact is, it doesn’t. That’s why even preachers have retirement programs as part of their salary, and that’s why the rest of us have social security to look forward to.
You were also wrong about the whole divorce thing. For some couples AND their families, divorce is the best thing that could happen. But then, having never been married, how would you know?
You were also wrong about not lusting after women-
Anyway, I just thought I’d write now that I’m older and wiser. I’ve seen these things for myself, and I’ve seen they don’t work, and somebody just need to let you know.
Yours truly,
Mark
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"Religion is Insanity by Consensus" Bill Maher
"Read the Bible, because we need more Atheists!" Penn & Teller
See & listen to Penn's "There Is No God" on the NPR website.
"I'm not a slave, to a god, that doesn't exist" Marilyn Manson, "Fight Song"
"We need to kick the money changers out of the temple and restore moral values to America" Howard Dean
"I've seen some preachers on TV, In a shirt and a tie and a vest, They say to send your money to the Lord, But they give you their address"
Hank Williams, Jr "The American Dream"
"But (Republican Fundies) don't care. They don't care because they don't care about the Constitution. They care about the Bible, and the Bible already appointed Bush."
Bill Maher, "Real Time With Bill Maher", May 13, 2005
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Stephen *Colbert Speaks Out
Regarding: Bible Stories
"Of course they're real stories-
Note from Mark Smith: The "court jesters" of today seem to be the only ones who can get away, in the public media, with telling the truth about Christianity-
*The Colbert Report on Comedy Central, Nov. 2, 2005
Daughters of The Harlot
IF your theology is shaped by the New Testament
AND since New Testament was shaped by The Catholic Church,
THEN your theology was shaped by The Catholic Church. -
"For the love of money is the root of all evil " 1st Timothy 6:10 KJV
George Carlin: "[Christianity] easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Just think about it: [Christianity] has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And this invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do, and if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place filled with fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry, forever and ever, till the end of time -
Party Poops One day... they'll come out with a pill that cures all sexual STD's. The next day, Fundies will whine to the government and get it banned.
Perception: When people hear the name Hitler, they think genocide. When they hear Noah's Flood, they think cute bedtime story for kids. Why is that? IF the Bible story is true, the genocide that Biblegod caused with Noah's Flood vastly outweighs whatever Hitler did. Does somebody need to write a book turning Hitler's death camps into cute Christian bedtime stories before Christians can open their eyes and see the comparison?
Abdul Rahman
Too Crazy to be a Christian
IF You Were Put on Trial for Being a Christian,
WOULD There Be Enough Evidence to Convict You?
That was a popular discussion point in the Youth for Christ meetings I used to go to. So I was amused when I ran into the same regarding the Afgan Muslim turned Christian Abdul Rahman. His death penalty case has been dismissed (3/26/06) because... there's not enough evidence that he's a Christian AND they think he's too crazy to actually be a Christian. I guess they aren't aware that, at least in our country, being nuts and Christian often go hand-
"several family members of Rahman have testified that he has mental problems."
Mark Twain on Censorship: Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
The Other Cheek Violence sure beats the crap out of turning the other cheek!
Christianity Causes a Bad Attitude It is the Atheist who values life more, who savors the moments, knowing that this life is all we get. It is the Atheist who gets the most joy out of an award ceremony for his second grade daughter; the Christian would be mocking and deriding the whole event, saying it is nothing compared to the awards that await in heaven. It is the Atheist who gets joy out of a beautiful sunset; the Christian would be disdainful, comparing it to the beauties of his imaginary heaven. It is the Atheist who values the life of his child; a Christian wouldn't care thinking that the child has "gone to a better place". Examples could go on and on, all pointing the same direction: Christianity can cause a condescending and disdainful attitude towards the simple joys of life.
Stupidity:
"Never underestimate the stupidity of the American public." -
"The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity." -
"In politics stupidity is not a handicap. If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing." -
Born Again: Why be "born again" when you can just grow up?
Hymns (Hims???) Where else but in a church (or San Francisco) could a man in public sing a love song to another man, such as "He TOUCHED me, ohhh he touched me..."? To see a Christian man's heart just all a flutter over being touched by another man, it's just so... GAY.
If There Were a God... IF there were a god, he would feel no more emotional attachment to us then we do to a bacteria or an ant. He would be so far beyond us that a lobster, a horse, a human, would all rate the same in his book. To think such a god would "love" homo sapiens astronomically beyond all the other animals on this planet is arrogant monkey egotism at its worse.
Pagan DNA in Christianity: Sure sounds like Christianity ripped off THIS story-
According to the Roman mythology, the founders of Rome were Romulus and Remus. The twin-
Suicide by Cop This is basically what Jesus did, which resulted in his death. Jesus pushed the buttons he knew would get himself killed. If ever there was a "victim precipitated homicide" this was it.
Crusade For a Christian to invite a Muslim to a "Jesus Crusade" is like inviting a Black to a lynching, so don't be surprised if either one gets pissed off.
Condoms & Teenagers Contrary to what the Christians have been yakking about all these years, it turns out that offering condoms to High School kids does NOT increase sexual behavior. Of course, the Christians REAL reason for not wanting the kids having sex has nothing to do with condoms-
Chimps & Humans http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030519/chimp.html The link is to a scientific article which shows that humans and chimps are better than 99% the same. The reason Christians don't want to face this genetic fact is because of their inherent self-
Coercion Ethical??? The governor of California is reported as having said "Contracts entered into with a gun at your head are not sacrosanct." (O.C. Register, 5/14/03, p. Business 2). I wonder where that leaves Biblegod, who holds the gun of HELL cocked at the head of everyone whom he offers his "loving contract" of heaven to??? In law, contracts entered into under coercion are unethical and don't hold up in court.
Brown Eyed / Blue Eyed Experiments Experiments have been carried out at hundreds of schools wherein one group is told they are superior to other groups. This feeling of being superior always breeds a feeling of arrogance and the mistreatment of the "inferior" groups. Given this FACT, should it surprise anyone that most Christians are arrogant bastards, seeing how they are continually reminded from the pulpit of how smart they are for having become Christians and how dumb those foolish Atheists are for having NOT converted???
Mormonism is Proof Mormonism is proof positive that religious people have no need of evidence or reason to remain in their religion.
April Fools Day? Some Christians have tried to lovingly hurt and humiliate Atheists by displaying a bumper sticker on their car which reads "April 1st: National Atheist Day". Upon further examination, this actually might not be a bad idea. We could make April 1st "National Skeptic Day" in which everyone should be skeptical of extraordinary claims (like people coming back from the dead and such) that sound too far fetched, lest we become an "April fool". We should also all reflect on that day on whatever religious claims we are living under, and question their validity. On April 1st, we should ALL be Atheists for a day.
Trust Your Feelings? While flying in fog or on overcast days, pilots that rely on their feelings rather than their instruments can crash and burn. Advanced pilots are given that very scenario in a flight simulator, so they can safely see for themselves not to trust their feelings over instruments. Christians should take a lesson from the pilots-
Value of Jesus' Death IF all human lives are of equal value, AND life begins at conception, THEN a microscopic sperm who won the race and is now hanging out the side of an egg is equal in value to the life of Jesus. GIVEN THAT, how could the human life of Jesus (equal to everyone else's) pay for anybody's sins???
Majority Vote??? For those people who seem to think that Christianity is somehow proved true by the number of people who have fallen for its lies} "If the truth of a proposition depended on the number of people who believed it, the Earth would still be flat." (Richard Prebble).
Stubborn Ass Christians Many Christians seem to think that being pig-
Babies Prove Biblegod? Christians often say to Atheists: "how can you look at a baby and say there is no god?" I don't know-
Babies Prove Biblegod? If "cute and cuddlely" proves there IS a god, shouldn't "horrendous and repulsive" prove there ISN'T???
Free Will? Seeing how chemicals can change the way a person thinks, and the things a person enjoys doing, "free will" must be yet another bogus theory of the non-
Self-
Meaning in Life Christians like to attack us Atheists with something like "Well, what meaning does YOUR life have? I have eternal life!" The fact is, their "eternal life", according to the Bible, will be spent kissing the ass of a petty desert deity suffering from low self-
Christian Retreat} Christians have their little camp meetings and getaways they go to. My question is, is a "Christian Retreat" what happens when a "Christian Crusade" gets defeated?
Sperm} Why aren't the pro-
Next Time You're Invited To Church} The next time your local Ned Flanders invites you to his church, go ahead and accept, but on one condition: that you'll make full use of your constitutional freedom of speech, for which many of our forefathers died. Let him know that anytime the preacher says something in his sermon that you disagree with, you're going to speak up then and there. Trust me, Ned won't be inviting you to church anymore, as what they really want are numbers in the attendance book, and not questioning minds.
Christian Justice?} I steal a cookie, and Jesus gets wacked for it. That is not justice, but the opposite. A system that has as its foundation a gross injustice is rotten to the core.
Religion = A Dead End} On the expressway of life exiting into a religion turns out to be nothing more than a very long dead-
Avoid stepping in C.R.A.P.
Christian Research Apologetics & Philosophy
No Jesus, Know Peace.
Know Jesus, No Peace!
Bored With The Book} Christian Geek Intellectuals are "bored with the book", that's why they turn to philosophy.
Out-
If it's too much bother, people won't bother.
Comedians: Comedians are the modern day prophets.
The more I learn, the less I earn.
Blank-
Deal with what IS, not what SHOULD BE. (The Prophet Lenny Bruce)
The Halls of Justice! The only place you find justice is in the halls. (The Prophet Lenny Bruce)
Jesus-
Time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. (Plato)
If the penalty for sin is "eternal hell fire", Jesus did NOT pay the penalty.
Judging Deities: If Biblegod is praised and judged GOOD by Christians when he does good acts, then likewise he should be damned and judged EVIL when he does or permits evil acts.
Judging Deities: If Biblegod = "the standard", then he is neither shorter nor longer than "the standard." One inch = one inch. Therefore, Biblegod isn't good (more than the standard) or bad (less than the standard), he is just the standard. Therefore no moral judgments toward Biblegod can be made: for or against.
Judging Deities: Christians say "Humans can't judge God-
Judging Deities: Christians say "Humans can't judge God-
Judging Deities: If Christians say that "God" is not to be judged, then how is a poor Pagan to judge which "God" is the real "God" given the choice between the gods Zeus, Baal, Joe Hovah or Thor????
Anything FOR Christianity is allowed into the court of Christian reason; anything AGAINST is disallowed.
If non-
The Jesus Seminar. Council of Nice. What's the big difference?
The day you can convince a mother to stop loving her son is the day you can convince a Christian to stop loving his religion.
Jesus Christ and Joseph Smith were both nut cases that started religions, and their followers have been trying to polish up their images ever since.
Judging Deities: IF the actions that Biblegod does flow from his nature, and if BY HIS OWN DEFINITIONS some of those actions are EVIL, THEN some of Biblegod's nature must ALSO be evil.
If we can't use Biblegod's own definitions of good & evil when discussing Biblegod being good or evil, then who in hells definition can we use???
The Polite Cheap Shot: “On the surface you seem to have a good case against my position…”
The Retort: Unless your position’s a “submarine”, anything other than “on the surface” means you’re sunk!
Christian Party Poops: Christians are not allowed, by their religion, to have fun. Therefore, when they see others having fun, out of jealousy they want to stop their fun. This is just like when one kid can’t get a cookie, he doesn’t want any other kid to have a cookie either.
Paul The Liar: If Paul didn't have the reputation of being a liar, then why did he spend so much time assuring others "I'm telling the truth-
Miracles: If modern Christian apologists and intellectuals had been the road manager of the traveling Jesus show, Jesus would have stopped at doing one miracle, then spent the next three years trying to convince others he really did it.
Miracles: If ancient miracles are enough to convince people, then why didn't Paul and the other Apostles just argue potential converts into believing the past miracles of Jesus?
Miracles: The best evidence for a miracle is a miracle.
Condoms & Schools: If teaching kids about condoms "encourages them to have sex" what does teaching them about war or slavery encourage?
Christianity Has Pagan DNA (from a bumper sticker)
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Created &/or Compiled by: Robert Brian Hitchcock
(deceased)
Philosophy} “My father wanted me to study law. I soon found out that I was more interested in the principles behind the law and I changed over to the School of Philosophy. But philosophy wasn’t the answer. There really isn’t anything to philosophy. Did you ever eat that cotton candy they sell at fairs? Well, philosophy is like that-
YAPPERS: A acronistic definition of Christian apologists at the embryonic stage.
Young
Arrogant
Pontificating
Pests
Eagerly
Rejecting
Sanity
If a man is cloned, can he be born again?
No man is totally useless. You can always use him as a bad example.
It's not important how you got there. It's where you end up.
Theology is an exact "science". It's only as exact as its interpreter.
No more words please. Show me Jesus that I might know the Father. (Jn 17:3)
You are what you worship. Catholicism: God in a box. Protestantism: God in a book. Orthodoxy: God may be in the box or the book
If Christianity is logically self sustaining, it is a logically 'closed' system, and thus violates the 2nd law of thermodynamics.
Christian Reconstructionism can best be summed up by remembering the following: God, Guns & 'Bo' grits.
The Apostles' doctrine was their orthopraxis, and they turned the world upside down. Is it possible for the modern orthodox church to claim the same?
Christian Apologetics: unreasonable answers to questions reasonable people never think of asking.
Evidentialists, presuppositionalists -
The shortest distance between faith and reason is 18 inches: the distance between your heart and your head.
How much doctrinal error will damn a soul to hell?
Intelligence is the glory of God (Mormon prophet Lorenzo Snow).
...(except when it comes to Mormon doctrine!)
Christian Philosopher: An intellectual who couldn't handle hard science.
Christian Philosopher: A Christian who is ontologically challenged.
Why did Jesus rise from the dead? Because the Romans didn't use 9" nails.
The Real Sign Above The Cross: INRI: "I'm Nailed Right In"
God supports planned parenthood-
How can you tell Jesus was really Jewish?
1) He went into his father's business.
2) He lived at home until he was 30.
3) His mother thought he was god.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore? He's got holes in his feet.
What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist? Someone who knocks on doors for no reason.
Why was the dyslexic Satanist upset? He found out he had signed his soul over to Santa.